Oceana is a devoted and resilient mother who faces daily challenges—challenges often invisible to others, except to those who truly know her. She is the mother of Kayron, an 11-year-old boy diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder, with suspected Tourette’s syndrome, and Alya, a 6-year-old girl with multiple and complex disorders. Despite the difficulties, Oceana firmly believes that her children are, above all, lovable, intelligent, and full of potential. However, their differences make them incredibly unique individuals who require constant attention and support. Through her words, this 38-year-old mother shares a glimpse of her life, and Toombow Kids brings her story to you.
One thing is clear to Oceana: she refuses to let her children be viewed with pity.
“They are just different,” she insists. “I want them to be treated like any other children, but I also want people to understand that they have specific needs.”
With her partner, a hardworking tiler, often away for work, Oceana ensures a constant presence for her children, caring for them at home as their primary caregiver. Kayron, in particular, experiences crises due to his autism, as well as significant behavioral rigidity, requiring a structured environment and continuous adaptations.
“I don’t have a special routine,” she admits. “I just adapt.”
This ability to adjust is what allows her to navigate daily life with courage. She knows her children inside out and takes great care not to overwhelm them. When Kayron wakes up, after his traditional morning hug, she knows he needs space—to wrap himself in his favorite blanket to feel secure in a world that often seems too vast for him.
Simple moments, like brushing teeth, can become real struggles, but Oceana has implemented strategies such as pictograms to ease transitions and prevent meltdowns. Kayron has a stress-free bedroom setup and special weighted blankets to help him refocus. Alya, on the other hand, is more extroverted, but her anxiety or tantrums are often triggered in noisy environments. At home, their dog Bella plays a crucial role by providing comfort and even alerting the parents with barks when the children show signs of distress.
Oceana also highlights a major issue: society’s judgment. There is a significant lack of awareness regarding invisible disabilities and autism spectrum disorders. Despite his official diagnosis, Kayron is often judged based on his appearance and reactions to the world.
“People often tell me that he doesn’t look autistic, but autism is a spectrum,” she emphasizes.
Similarly, people assume Alya must be perfectly fine simply because she smiles and laughs often. These comments hurt, but Oceana remains composed.
“People don’t understand, but that’s the reality of disability,” she says. “Just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.”
Despite the obstacles, Oceana ensures that her children have a stimulating and joyful environment, filled with various activities. Kayron, passionate about planets, video games, insects, and Pokémon, loves creating things and actively participates in creative projects like painting and arts and crafts. Alya enjoys playing with Playmobil and going for nature walks. The family often visits small fairs where she can enjoy the rides while wearing noise-canceling headphones to protect herself from overwhelming sensory input.
“We do a lot of cooking together,” Oceana shares. “They love it. It’s also a way to learn independence and discover textures they might usually avoid.”
Small victories, like Kayron finally being able to stir pancake batter—something he once struggled with—are significant milestones in her children’s development.
If Oceana manages to maintain balance in her family life despite the challenges, it is largely thanks to the support of her partner, family, and healthcare professionals. She has learned never to hesitate in seeking help—whether for medical care, therapy, or extracurricular activities.
“There are days when I feel alone, when it’s all too much, but I rely on my loved ones,” she explains.
Her children also receive specialized support: psychologists, occupational therapists, speech therapists, and other healthcare professionals help structure their daily lives and better address their unique needs. This support is crucial, as Oceana has learned that finding the right solutions often requires trial and error. She has observed that early interventions for Alya are essential in helping her communicate better. She also frequently exchanges advice with other parents facing similar challenges.
“Resources exist, but you need to know where to look,” she says.
The issue of respite is also vital for Oceana. Even though she admits she doesn’t get much, she makes sure to carve out small moments for herself.
“These daily little victories matter,” she acknowledges. Occasionally, she takes time to go shopping alone, breathe, and recharge. “These moments are essential for me,” she says. “They allow me to decompress and come back stronger because if we, as parents, don’t feel well, how can we properly care for our children?”
Spending time with her husband is also crucial for maintaining balance. After 12 years together, they have always found ways to support each other and share the responsibilities of parenting.
But Oceana doesn’t just manage her daily life in silence—she is also committed to raising awareness about disability through her Instagram account.
“Acceptance of differences is a battle I fight every day,” she explains. “People don’t always understand, but I want to show them that small changes in attitude can make a big difference.”
She emphasizes the importance of educating others and fostering a culture of inclusion and kindness, even within close circles like family and neighbors.
Despite the hardships, Oceana remains optimistic.
“I dream of seeing my children thrive at their own pace,” she says.
She hopes they will find their passions and flourish, despite their challenges. To her, the future of her children—and that of many other families—depends on a more inclusive society that embraces diversity.
“I want them to believe in their ability to achieve their dreams, and that’s what I instill in them every single day,” she adds.
She envisions a future where children like hers will have better access to resources and support, a world where their differences will no longer be seen as obstacles but as strengths.
